Emotional intimacy and sexual activity are two of the areas that
most bind our energy and attention,
as we can all gather, reflecting on our own life experiences and
priorities. Avatar Adi Da Samraj refers to both of these as a
single area of human life, making the point that sex is actually
rooted in the heart:
sexuality is love expressed. If you energize yourself sexually
over and over again, you lose your heart. You become fleshy, cold,
opaque, unnatural, diseased, mad. People who are addicted to sexuality
in itself are mad. Like alcohol or drugs, sex is a loveless automaticity
that destroys people’s lives. . . . In the Way of Adidam sex is
about the intimate relationship. . . . Sex is an emotional-sexual
of this, how we relate to another sexually is a direct reflection
of how we are patterned to relate emotionally.
a vast amount could be written (and has been written by Avatar
Adi Da Samraj) about the emotional-sexual area and its discipline,
two of the key aspects are:
and transcending oedipal patterning by being love
and transcending the addiction to the degenerative orgasm
Understanding and transcending
oedipal patterning by being love
first pointed out, we suffer our entire lives from profound, dysfunctional
relational patterns initially catalyzed in childhood through our
relations with our mother and father, and then projected onto
all women and men (respectively), particular those we hold “intimate”.
At the core of this oedipal patterning is the feeling of rejection
(the original rejection presumed to have been performed by the
parent of the opposite sex, who chose the same-sexed parent over
us). This pattern is transcended by replacing the ritual, abusive
expression, “You do not love me” (yet another of our compulsions
or addictive habits), with the self-transcending practice and
ordeal of “I love you”:
egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is . . . Chronically Bound
To The Ritual Of Rejection. The emotional (or emotional-sexual)
Career Of egoity Tends To Manifest As A Chronic Complaint That
Always Says, By Countless Means, “You Do Not Love me.” This
Abusive Complaint Is Itself The Means Whereby the egoic individual
Constantly Enforces his or her Chronic Wanting Need To Reject,
Avoid, or Fail To Love others. Indeed, This Complaint Is More
Than A Complaint. It Is A self-Image (The Heart-Sick or self-Pitying
and Precious Idea That “I” Is Rejected) and An Angry Act Of
Retaliation (Whereby others Are Punished For Not Sufficiently
Adoring, pleasurizing, and Immortalizing the Precious ego-”I”).
. . .
This Is (In The Way of Adidam) Truly, and Completely, and Most
Fundamentally Understood, The Ritual Of Rejection, Fear, egoity,
self-Contraction, or Un-Love Can Be Directly Transcended, If
Only It Is Summarily Replaced By The Ordeal (or Discipline and
Practice) Of self-Transcending Love, and (Then, By Grace) Heart-Communion
With and (Ultimately) Heart-Communication Of The Divine Self-Condition,
In The Form, “I Love You”.
as we engage this or that distraction to avoid feeling boredom,
doubt, or discomfort, so we engage the ritual of rejecting others
in order not to feel the vulnerability that is inherent in being
love, which Avatar Adi Da describes as “the wound of love”:
those who Are Committed To Love (and who Always Commune With
The One Who Is Love), Even Rejection By others Is Received and
Accepted As A Wound, Not An Insult [That Justifies Retaliation].
Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved Is [In Itself]
A Wound. Even The Fullest Realization Of Love [In The Awakened
State] Is A Wound That Never Heals. . . .
Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed or Apparently
Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and Do
Not Love. . . .Be Vulnerable. Be Wounded When Necessary, and
Endure That Wound or Hurt. Do Not Punish the other In Love.
. . . The Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment Is To
Be Love In every moment.
with the Divine —
“The One Who Is Love” —
is the secret to being able to “be love” to others, in feeling
and in action.
Understanding and transcending
the addiction to the degenerative orgasm
the orgasm is the greatest pleasure conventionally available
to us, most of us are addicted to orgasm as it conventionally
occurs. Unfortunately, from the Spiritual viewpoint, a conventional
orgasm is a “degenerative orgasm”, in the sense that it creates
a break in the energy being conducting in the circle of the
body-mind; instead of the energy circulating down the frontal
line and up the spinal line, at the moment of degenerative orgasm,
the energy leaks out through the genitials (in both men and
Da Samraj provides a different discipline. Through feeling-Contemplation
of Adi da Samraj (while making love), combined with practices
that control sexual intensity (e.g., through whole bodily relaxation),
as well as the practice of “tensing the bodily base” to maintain
the integrity of the “plumbing” at this turn-around point in
the energy flow from the frontal line to the spinal line, at
the moment of what otherwise would be a degenerative orgasm,
the orgasm is converted.
The energy doesn’t leak out the genitals but instead is conducted
upward at the bodily base and shoots up the spine and throughout
the entire body. Avatar Adi Da Samraj calls this a regenerative
orgasm. With practice, this regenerative orgasm becomes a very
pleasurable whole bodily thrill, that increases the energy of
the body, as well as its well-being and feeling of fullness.
And through practice of regenerative orgasm, the addiction to
degenerative orgasm loses its force over time.
Da Samraj also provides an analogous practice, referred to as
the “own-body” sexual practice, for converting conventional
(degenerative) sexual masturbation into regenerative orgasm.
This practice was adapted from the traditional, esoteric, monastic
practice known as Shaktichalana Mudra.